Wrinkle in Reality

Photo by Mary Dessein
A wrinkle in time. Sure, I’ve had one of those… okay, several of them. One fold happens when I look at the framed photo of my eighteen-month old curly-topped son hanging in my hallway. Then I realize he and I haven’t talked in three weeks. Oh yeah, he lives 2,500 miles from me and is thirty-five years old. My starz.

My wrinkles are not as remarkable as Madeleine L’Engle’s. Even though it was fun to remind my son of when I drove with he and his dad to Portland, Oregon when he was about four years old in order to hear Madeleine speak, he didn’t remember the trip or Madeleine L’Engle. However, it was a lovely reminder for me of the seats we had up in the curved balcony in a huge old church to see her, to hear her talk about her father’s health condition and her spending time as a little girl living in a castle in Europe. Remarkable is barely the beginning to describe her.

Ava DuVernay’s recent movie version of A Wrinkle in Time is worth seeing. It is as much about love, family, loyalty, community, belief in one’s self, and tenacity as it is about science fiction and interplanetary space travel.

In part, what launches A Wrinkle in Time is an inadvertent consequence, an unpredicted result to a pursued goal (Dr. Alex Murry, who is the main character, Meg’s father, achieves his goal of finding the tesseract and successfully tessering, however he gets trapped on a planet far away and cannot escape.) Oh my, I’ve had one or two of those unpredicted results. Haven’t you? Such as getting the promotion then getting transferred and having to leave all the co-workers who helped you get it and whom you trust. Or bringing your spouse with you to volunteer at the Food Bank, who then falls in love with one of the other volunteers, and a year later you find yourself divorced. I know, I know, “one door closes and another one opens;” and the ever popular “life presents us with opportunities for personal growth.” I do endorse those beliefs, it just takes me a little time to get back in the saddle.

In the three deleted pages from A Wrinkle in Time, released by her granddaughter in 2015, pages which the publisher perhaps thought too political or controversial, Ms. L’Engle talks about the dangers of pursuing security, that security is a seductive thing, and that the sick longing for it is a dangerous thing, and … insidious.

How are we manipulated by supervisors, credit card companies, politicians, retailers, spouses, neighbors, perhaps even our children, by their threatening our security or offering to enhance it? By dictators and autocrats? Yee gods, that list is endless and will continue to be so. Fascinating that Ms. L’Engle called this out in a conversation between a father and daughter. The father attempting to show his daughter a larger view, that questioning, exploring, and taking risks are what move us forward.

My regrets in life, the few I have, are related to what I did not do for my children. Sometimes it was that I did not set limits. My most lamentatious ones are when I did not protect them, or did not stand up for them. I was unable to de-stabilize my alleged security. In hindsight, I say alleged as it really wasn’t stable. With their dad, with my employer, with my sense of obligation to others, or that nebulous entity: what I thought others thought of me.

And another wrinkle – security and safety are not the same nor interchangeable.
None of that was within my grasp twenty-five years ago.

“Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.” Madeleine L’Engle.

Best of 2016 !

Thumbtack.com, a go-to site for services of all kinds, including storytellers, musicians, and MC’s, had the excellent discernment to recognize me as an award-winner!

Just as we get ready for the amazing performance of “The Wonder Smith and His Son,” written by Ella Young. This epic telling is the vision of Allison Cox, and sponsored by the Seattle Storytelling Guild. Scads of storytellers, each telling their version of a chapter, and assorted musicians, including myself!
Where: George Center for Community, 2212 NE 125th St., Seattle 98125 (just a couple blocks up from Lake City Way)
When: Saturday, March 19, 2016
Time: 7 – 10 p.m., with an intermission
Suggested Donation:$5 Guild members, $8 non-members, $12 families

Belonging

 

balloon-down

The Pacific Ocean is small compared to the size of what I don’t know.

However, what I do know is that belonging is about the most important thing for a human being. Little kids know it, and are completely unabashed about it; they totally know they need to be with people, be in a group, be together with others. As adults, we often try to be cool and not look like we need to belong. Yet we do.

How we do that belonging thing is by hanging out with like-minded, and in many cases, like-hearted people. Some people are born into a bunch of folks like that, and some people not, so then it’s our mission to find them. Like-minded is fairly easy: talking about ideas and politics and workplace issues is pretty safe, and there is a sense of belonging there, even if it is temporary.

Although it was always an undercurrent in me, I didn’t recognize the like-hearted part until I grew up. Like way up: age 50! Like-hearted is where the life is, where the soul is.

Belonging is telling and listening to stories. Stories are what make us human and show us how to make sense of the world. They remind us how others have walked these paths before us. Stories allow us to validate who we are by telling our anecdotes, triumphs, and not-so-much’s. The not-so-much’s were painful or embarrassing or sad but now that they’re past, they’re funny. And the source of our wisdom.

I’ve asked before, “Why do we come to an open mic like this?”
Yes, dreams are part of it. Being brave, trying something new, pushing our boundaries, perfecting our craft, getting some feedback, watching to see what happens next. There are as many reasons to be here as there are people in the seats.

Yet I’m tellin’ ya, it’s about belonging somewhere we value. Being validated. Being recognized.
And when that happens, having something inside me clink into place that says, “Oh yeah, I matter.”

(Photo by Mary Dessein)

Langley March 27th

A ferry ride home at dusk from Langley this coming Friday will cap my week. Dusk has mystical qualities for me: pale long shadows, birds tweeting, chirping and cawing as they flock to their nests, sunlight slanting across lawns and up the sides of neighborhood houses, the soft light that layers the world in gentleness. Add being on a ferry with the engine vibrating everyone on the boat as it churns through the water with seagulls gliding overhead and my world is perfect!

On March 27, I am privileged to be invited over to the storytelling event Jill Johnson (www.globalvillagestory.wordpress.com/) produces every month at The Commons Bookstore in Langley. Jill has mystical qualities of her own: writer, storyteller, actor, teacher, mentor, researcher, and that is only what I know about. Other performers that night will be Peter Lawlor and Heather Ogilvy.

Live performances are rewarding experiences for me in the personal interaction with the audience. I enjoy the eye contact, who’s into it and who’s nodding off, the sparkle and laugh when someone gets it, and the comments or questions people ask afterwards.

Join us for a fun evening.