There was a lone Canadian goose stepping back and forth in a small area down on the field, about three hundred feet from my window. After a few minutes, it simply stood still. It was unsettling to see the lone goose there.
Surely it would fly off. It didn’t.
What could I do to help it? I was sure approaching it with bird seed was not a good idea. I would watch it. Perhaps call Animal Control if it didn’t fly off. Surely it would fly off.
Geese are not supposed to be alone. They instinctively stay in community and watch out for each other; often dropping out of their flying wedge formation if they detect one of their own is struggling. I came back to the window a little while later, the goose was still standing there, now with it’s neck drooped down, head lowered as if hopeless.
When I returned home, it was mid-afternoon. The goose was then sitting down, with its head lowered, in the same place it had been standing.
My heart felt like a fifty pound lump of coal as I looked at the lost, alone, cold bird. It hurt to stand there and watch the bird. I went off to find some phone numbers.
Two days before, on New Year’s, I texted a close friend, wishing her a fabulous 2018 and telling her she rocked! Her answer was, “I am afraid.” Of course, I texted back asking if she needed help, was she safe?
A few minutes later, she explained she was afraid of 2018. As 2016 had been a difficult year with several family dramas and sorrow, she had looked forward to a happier 2017. Which turned out to be so filled with pain and betrayal, she felt she couldn’t live through anything more. So … she was afraid of what 2018 would bring.
Where do you turn, what do you do when you are afraid of the next day? The next month? Who do you turn to when those close to you have left you? Aren’t we supposed to be a community and watch out for each other?
Fear. An F-word to be sure. Some say it is an acronym for Forsake Everything And Run (censored version), a short term strategy to avoid the problem causing the fear. However, the problem will likely still be there when you get back. More helpful to me has been False Evidence Appearing Real, as over time I recognized that most of my fears grew out of my self-doubt, trepidation about doing something new, or standing up for myself.
I saw a t-shirt years ago at a department store emblazoned with “Fear is a Thief.” It stopped me for a moment as that truth registered in me. Indeed, my fears had held me back from many things. Many things you don’t, I don’t, get a do-over on.
My heart hurt to hear of my tender friend living in that fear and foreboding on New Year’s Day, when so many people are high-fiving each other, celebrating a fresh start after some time off, and looking forward to opportunities. What could I do to help?
Be in her community. Alas, my magic wand to tap her three times and dissipate her fear has long since disappeared. I had it when I was five but somewhere along the way, I lost track of the darn thing.
Maybe that’s for the best.
There are times when I think of that goose. It still twangs my heart to see the picture so clearly in my mind of the elegant bird alone and hopeless in the white expanse. That day when I came back to the window after finding possible animal rescue phone numbers, the goose was gone.
Where? I’ll never know, I can only hope. My friend? I will be there to listen, and walk with her.
Maybe hope will come along, too.
Meg Philp
March 6, 2018 at 2:08 amA timely, good read. Thanks Mary
Harpist60
March 6, 2018 at 2:45 amThank you, Meg. Best to you.
Deanna Helseth
March 6, 2018 at 6:56 amBeautifully said,Mary! Yes,fear is a thief of so many good things.And I hope that goose found her community! Thank you.
Mary Dessein
March 6, 2018 at 8:39 pmMerci Deanna. It takes some of us a while to figure it out, right?
Allison Cox
March 6, 2018 at 4:21 pmBeautiful work Mary. A need to read.
Mary Dessein
March 6, 2018 at 8:38 pmThank you, Allison.
Char Seawell
March 6, 2018 at 8:03 pmOnce again, great look at. Atjre and human nature
Char Seawell
March 6, 2018 at 8:04 pmThat was “nature” 🙂
Mary Dessein
March 6, 2018 at 8:37 pmThank you, Char~
Donna M. Rudiger
March 8, 2018 at 9:01 pmAnother thought-provoking essay that made me nod in concurrence! Well done!
Harpist60
March 9, 2018 at 5:42 amThank you, Donna.
Caroline Baertsch
March 10, 2018 at 4:39 amPerfect story Mary..absolutely perfect.
Mary Dessein
March 10, 2018 at 5:20 amSo glad you enjoyed it, Caroline. You may have seen that goose…
Terra Lea Dennis
March 10, 2018 at 6:04 pmImportant and timely. I do like your acronym ‘appearing real’. Taking mindful moments to remind myself kindly. Thank you!
Harpist60
March 11, 2018 at 7:27 pmTerra Lea, we move forward a step at a time, eh? Thank you~
Gayle Helseth-Kenison
March 11, 2018 at 12:17 amSo lovely, Mary! I am so happy you were there for your friend, and hope the lonely goose found his friend too! And Fear is a Thief-perfect!
Harpist60
March 11, 2018 at 7:27 pmThank you, Gayle. Maybe 2018 will bring us together, too!
Beverly Allen
March 15, 2018 at 3:28 amI think you haven’t lost your magic wand my friend. – you’ve turned it into a pen.
Harpist60
March 16, 2018 at 11:12 pmBeverly~ What a beautiful thing to say. Merci bien et encore