Sand softer than silk

Learning
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Opportunities for personal growth, eh? A couple have gotten my attention and energy in the last few months.

“No blaming, no name-calling, no judging,” has taken more awareness and effort than I expected. I think I do pretty well as far as taking responsibility for when I miss an appointment, forget something or such, and don’t blame anyone or anything else.

Yet I started noticing that when someone pulled out in front of me or rolled through a stop sign, or some action I did not approve of, I tended to call them a body part and judge their intelligence and/or their lack of awareness of the world around them.
My, oh my. This continues to challenge me some, but my awareness is improving. How am I doing on a scale of 1 to 10… we won’t go there yet.

“Let go, release, and trust.” I am enjoying this affirmation from Natalie Ledwell very much. Who knew how much I did the ‘what if?’ mode or imagined negative or half-hearted results. So I do what I can, then I let go of what-ifs, release worries, and trust. Trust the Universe, trust that I’ve done all I can, accept that things fall into place: any of those work.
There is such freedom this gives me. I can mow the lawn, check on literary agent queries, fold my laundry, and put extra pumpkin seeds in my granola without nagging thoughts nudging at me.

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Who knew hen and chicks cactus, sempervivum, grew stalks
that bloomed!

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(c)MDessein

From an article by Jack Canfield I read a couple days ago: he said make 3 promises to yourself each day. Promises that you absolutely will keep, be they simple like drink an extra cup of water today or a larger task you’ve delayed doing. Whatever they are, Fulfill Them each day. He says it will improve your confidence and self-trust. I’ll try it.*

At my daughter’s in the high desert of eastern Oregon last week, my wondrous son-in-law is walking barefoot outdoors and suggested I do the same, as the sand was so smooth and cool in temperature. I was wearing my socks and shoes, thinking that I did not want dirty feet, so politely smiled at him. Later that afternoon, one of the grandkids fell outside and I rushed out of the house to pick her up. As I held her, standing barefoot in that cool, smooth sand, I went, “Ah, this feels so good. Like silk,” and walked slowly back to the house.

May you find sand in your life that is smooth as silk to walk on~

Thank you for reading.

Flamboyant Exuberance

Authenticity, Tenacity
Posted on 8 Comments on Flamboyant Exuberance

Or perhaps exuberant flamboyance? Either way, these poppies and foxgloves are amazing. And the hundreds of Shasta daisies with some California poppies spouting through. People walking by my house stop to look, point, and some take pictures.

Amazing.

I am amazing.
I am incredible.

I am remarkable.

And some days, I am exuberant.

Say it with me now: I am amazing. I am incredible. I am remarkable.

The stories we tell ourselves, often created and told to us by others. The self-reports we make to ourselves.
Maybe you were taught as a kiddo that you needed to be modest and not say how great you were.

If someone praised your behavior or an attribute of yours, you were not supposed to say, “Yeah! You’re right!”

You are great. You have done wondrous and amazing things.

I get the conceited part. We all know folks who are a bit full of themselves.
Ah, the balance.

Flamboyance can be a wondrous element. Being buoyant is a good thing. Right? Exuberance is joyful and alive. Woo-hoo!

Say it with me now: I am incredible. I am amazing. I have done great things.
I am exuberantly, flamboyantly alive and blooming!


Yes, the querying of literary agents continues. Is all good.

Thank you for reading!

Take Nothing Personally…

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Okay, let’s try that.
So someone says to me, “Those pants look terrible on you.”
I will do my best to respond, not react. And think. Their remark has zero to do with me. It is about their opinion, likes, dislikes, courtesy (or not!), mood, day they’re having, etc., etc.

When I can take nothing anyone says or does personally, it is better for me. If I could learn from their input, I can figure that out.

The excellent book by Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements,” has taught me so much over the years, and as I return to it.
– Be impeccable with your word.
– Don’t take anything personally.
– Don’t make assumptions.
– Always do your best.

Take nothing personally is often followed closely for me by not making an assumption about whoever said something off-the-mark to me. O la la.

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Tenacity.
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These foxgloves have it. The little one on the left has a curved stem as it has reached around the steps on my deck to get through and bloom. And bloom.

Tenacity: unrelenting determination , persistence and commitment to completing something.


Like publishing a novel.
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(c)MDessein

Write it. Get it formatted to be acceptable to agents. Do the search for an agent process. Learn about contracts, perhaps contact your attorney.
O la la.
Yup, I am in the agent quest process. I have queried scads of literary agents, will now wait and see who and what turns up. I am excited, pleased, and relieved.

Oh yeah, tenacity! And I take nothing personally as the first few declines come in!

Thanks for reading.

Recognition, as in ….

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Introducing ourselves in the locker room after each of us did our lap swim, my new acquaintance, Jan, and I chatted about the benefits of swimming, getting out to do exercise, interacting with others, and the sauna! As we finished dressing and got ready to leave, Jan chuckled as she said, “Nice to meet you. If we meet at the grocery store, I don’t know if I’ll recognize you with your clothes on.”

Driving home, I thought about that. A humorous line there in the locker room yet many times in my life I had not recognized what was actually in front of me. Often it was situations as well as with people I was interacting with: in relationships, on the job, or neighbors. Perhaps you can relate.

I didn’t recognize the small behaviors that indicated the person had anger management issues. Or the discounting behaviors of a boss when I achieved something they envied, that were their ego issues and had nothing to do with me. Or the omissions, half-truths, strident declarations to camouflage lies. Etc., etc.

Learning to set boundaries, and giving myself permission to do so, have been later in life lessons for me. I always wondered at people who said No to something right off the bat. Hhhmmm.

What have I learned? Gratitude. Always something to be learned, to do better or make more informed choices next time. That I have value and can say No when it is best for me. Or Yes enthusiastically, it is my decision.
Self-care is not the same as self-centeredness.
To pay attention to sometimes little ‘alerts’ from others’ behavior. Not justifying or minimizing them. Also learning not to judge others. Even if I think they’d do better to behave like me!

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Also in choosing a path.
I now see that my life is following
the path of choices I have made.
Yes, things happen. I choose how to respond.
O la la! Respond instead of react!

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A path at Fort Casey State Park (c)MDessein

O la la! Mais oui, my novel is done! I am now in the next step to then begin the search for the excellent, well-connected agent who values my book.
Thank you, merci beaucoup, grazie for reading~

Peace, Love & Light to …

Connection, France, Personal growth, Personal growth, Bracelets,
Posted on 5 Comments on Peace, Love & Light to …

“Peace, love and light to every being, everywhere.”

Every being, everywhere. Those seventy plus sparrows, wrens and swallows (yes, I counted them) out there on the power lines are beings. They think, make decisions, remain vigilant in protecting their safety, find food, and raise their young. They are beings. I am a being. My dog is a being. Wow, does he make decisions! And he is thinking when he tips his head sideways and looks at me with those big brown eyes.

Wayne Dyer, a teacher, author, motivational speaker, who I heard this statement from continues with: if you want to have peace, love and light for yourself and people you care about, you have to send it to every being, everywhere. Even people you can’t stand, disagree with, or have harmed you. He said even to Hitler. Every being, everywhere.

A composite of other tidbits from my scads of hours in personal growth classes that I work with a lot is: Don’t blame, don’t name-call, don’t judge. My, oh my, sometimes that keeps me pretty busy. In watching others and myself as I try to learn. Many people judge other people just because the other people are different than they are. Hhhmm, different does not mean wrong or less than. I could go on about calling others names and blaming them, which generally side-steps the real issue. I’ll spare you at the moment!

Now, are these bracelets too cool!

The top one is an original souvenir bracelet from the World Exposition of 1889 in Paris when the Eiffel Tower was built and so many other wonders. Yes, my great-grandmother, Adele, was there and this is her bracelet! The medallions are of the French Revolution, including pivotal men: Robespierre, Danton, Kleber, and Marat.

The trinket bracelet is an original from the Seattle World’s Fair in 1962!

Would these make a great book cover!

(c) MDessein

Thanks for reading! One more Chapter to go on the wondrous book~
Peace, love and light to you.

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