Getting in my way

Clouds over Washington
Photo By Mary Dessein

What a concept – things I say and do which sabotage the goals I proclaim to have. Most of the time, I don’t see these obstacles as self-erected: not allowing enough time for traffic; trying to squeeze too many tasks in before I leave; saying yes to others’ requests when I need to say no; procrastinating; minimizing the negative consequences; or the ever useful tactic of blaming people, places or things for my problems.

Another concept: getting out of my own way! I watch amazing fiddler, Geoffrey Castle, go non-stop in perfecting his craft; insightful, compelling writer, Stephanie Kallos, follow her intuition in draft after draft of a novel; master storyteller, Elizabeth Ellis, perform, write, and teach with such generosity while she travels back and forth across the country; and dynamic writer and teacher, Bill Kenower, come alive when talking about writing. Passion. Belief. Determination?

At a luncheon recently, I heard a peer say they didn’t know what else to do besides what they were doing. Is that fear leaning against the door of opportunity? If so, how do I look inside myself to sort out what is really important to me and how to get there? Get there from the safe, known, perhaps mediocre, place of here?
A friend and I were talking about dreams. His was to work at a job he enjoys and is well-trained for in Hawaii. Seemed feasible and fabulous to me. “Oh no, I’ll never get to do that,” he said. His answer to why not was vague and the conversation shifted to something else. Are we back to fear again?                                                                                                                               Do I put things in my own way so I don’t have to even approach failure or disappointment – easily two of life’s more profound teachers. Have I put the illusion of safety between me and what will truly fulfill me?

6 Comments

  • john lindsey

    July 13, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    what ever happened to the cloud writing show poject?

    • Harpist60

      July 13, 2015 at 9:48 pm

      Hi John, Thank your for your continued interest. It is not forgotten. Learning to pre-record, edit, mix-down was a bigger task than I thought in addition to scheduling time with KSER folks to make sure all was going well. My plan was for sooner, yet I keep working on it. I’ll post immediately when it goes up!

  • Naomi Baltuck

    July 13, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Mary, this is such a thoughtful and thought-provoking post. Thank you for this important reminder–it definitely has the ring of truth to it.

    • Harpist60

      July 13, 2015 at 9:49 pm

      Thank you Naomi. Travel safely!

  • Ross Blair

    July 15, 2015 at 2:06 am

    Thanks for posting this, Mary. I noticed something in my gut resonating with your writing. Now onto envisioning something more to my liking and actively working on co-creating what I DO want showing up in my life. Maybe first consider some techniques to get “ing” suffixes to appear less often in my posts.

    • Mary

      July 17, 2015 at 3:41 am

      Thank you, Ross, and for stopping by. Resonation is a powerful thing, I am glad to know I am in such good company. Best to you ~