Introducing ourselves in the locker room after each of us did our lap swim, my new acquaintance, Jan, and I chatted about the benefits of swimming, getting out to do exercise, interacting with others, and the sauna! As we finished dressing and got ready to leave, Jan chuckled as she said, “Nice to meet you. If we meet at the grocery store, I don’t know if I’ll recognize you with your clothes on.”
Driving home, I thought about that. A humorous line there in the locker room yet many times in my life I had not recognized what was actually in front of me. Often it was situations as well as with people I was interacting with: in relationships, on the job, or neighbors. Perhaps you can relate.
I didn’t recognize the small behaviors that indicated the person had anger management issues. Or the discounting behaviors of a boss when I achieved something they envied, that were their ego issues and had nothing to do with me. Or the omissions, half-truths, strident declarations to camouflage lies. Etc., etc.
Learning to set boundaries, and giving myself permission to do so, have been later in life lessons for me. I always wondered at people who said No to something right off the bat. Hhhmmm.
What have I learned? Gratitude. Always something to be learned, to do better or make more informed choices next time. That I have value and can say No when it is best for me. Or Yes enthusiastically, it is my decision.
Self-care is not the same as self-centeredness.
To pay attention to sometimes little ‘alerts’ from others’ behavior. Not justifying or minimizing them. Also learning not to judge others. Even if I think they’d do better to behave like me!
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Also in choosing a path.
I now see that my life is following
the path of choices I have made.
Yes, things happen. I choose how to respond.
O la la! Respond instead of react!
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A path at Fort Casey State Park (c)MDessein
O la la! Mais oui, my novel is done! I am now in the next step to then begin the search for the excellent, well-connected agent who values my book.
Thank you, merci beaucoup, grazie for reading~