Legacy. An interesting word, yes? A gift left in a will, a bequest; something handed down from the past, such as the legacy of ancient Egypt.
I was taken in finding a crafted box with a clasp, in my china hutch as I was cleaning things out. I opened the box, to find it lined with a silky fabric, and therein a thick book with a warm brown leather cover. In opening the cover, I see my grandmother’s name, M. Dessein, embossed in gold on the page and the date of 28 Mai 1908. It is a prayer book, in French.
Beautiful pictures, a ribbon marking a page, small prayer cards in various pages. Also in the crafted box, two hand-written letters. Neither had dates, however, they referenced a trip to France. One written in French from my grandmother’s sister and one in English from my grandfather. My grandfather Alfred, who died seventeen years before I was born. Grandpa Alfred. He signed the letter ‘your lover.’ Grandmere made a trip from Seattle to her birthplace in Langres, France in 1927 with her firstborn child, my mother, Josette. Grandmere was anxious to see her family again and introduce them to her beautiful three-year-old daughter. There is much to be said there, however, back to my topic.
Do you think about the legacy you are leaving and will leave? And to who?
“So lately, been wonderin’, who will be there to take my place? When I’m gone, you’ll need love, To light the shadows on your face.”
So in my going through my little hall closet, which a water leak in the wall has forced me to do, I find the Wedding Anniversary memory album of my parents’ 40th anniversary in 1984. Quite the shindig, to be sure. It was at my house, I made a triple-decker wedding cake for them, a soft orange with deep orange trim. Twas a beaut, if I say so myself.
Do I throw that album away? A lot of the people in the pictures are long passed away. My two children live in other states, my son was two at this event and my daughter wasn’t born yet. Is it part of their legacy?
Ah, when I am gone, my children in their 60’s (!) looking back – at memorabilia, their lives, their children, perhaps grandchildren. What am I leaving them? Is it already a done deal?
“If a great wave should fall, It would fall upon us all. And between the sand and stone, Could you make it on your own?”
I wish I could ask my mom questions, ask my dad what he would do differently. Ask my grandparents what they think I ought to do next. Ask my great-grandparents how they would approach a huge life change.
Have you had similar wishes?
“And maybe, I’ll find out, The way to make it back someday. To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days.”
Is my legacy a combination of what was left to me to now pass on? Is it how I raised my kids and therefore all done? Is it how I have moved through the world and helped others? Made a difference? Protected someone? Or simply when I held the door for that family at the Post Office?
“Runaway with my Heart. Runaway with my Hope. Runaway with my Love. I know now, just quite how, My life and love might still go on. In your heart, in your mind, I’ll stay with you for all of time.”
This song I’ve been singing to you is “Wherever You Will Go” written in 2001 by Aaron Kamin, guitarist and co-founder of the band, The Calling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlMLzg7ZKYw. A great song
It speaks to me of legacy, love, and support.
My mortality has been brought to mind by finding all kinds of family artifacts and the people who once used and lived with them. I haven’t got this figured out. Yet I know my father loved roses and Mom loved raspberries. So do I.
Damon
July 8, 2020 at 9:00 pmWow, I have been going through this right now as well. Can relate. I have photos and documents from the early 1900s and no one to leave them to. In the meantime I’ve found important letters written to other people that ended up in antique stores and I bought them to give them, at least temporarily, a home.
What a beautiful book, and box, and story.
Thank you.
Mary
July 8, 2020 at 9:20 pmThank you too, Damon. It’s something, isn’t it? It’s almost like the things themselves have a life. Best to you.
Robin Dachenhausen
July 8, 2020 at 9:21 pmWhat a great question. What is my legacy? Do I even need to leave one and to whom . My family has chosen to be estranged from one another. I lost my parents as a child. The older I’ve become I find the need to hang on to memorabilia eludes me. My memories are so strong I do not need to be weighed down by possessions. This has been so freeing and refreshing. Stuff can be just that , stuff. Especially if it becomes a burden to keep . memories only take up space in your minds file cabinet.
Mary
July 8, 2020 at 9:29 pmMy mind’s file cabinet. Thank for reading, Robin. A great discussion over a cup of London Fog tea~
Kathy Bennett
July 8, 2020 at 11:28 pmMary, you have written yet another warm, thought provoking article. Yes, I have had similar thoughts recently … I think it’s the age we are at. My children and grandchildren know that I love them, but what can I leave them to remind them of me when I’m gone? Have I done enought to ensure them that doing the right thing is always the best thing to do. Have I shared myself enought to teach them that caring about what others need and helping those we can is certainly the best sharing act we can do?
Blessings to you, yet again, dear Mary.
Mary
July 9, 2020 at 10:18 amHi Kathy~ The questions we ask as we move through life sure change, our perspective(s). Thank you so much Kathy, hug to you.
Lol
July 9, 2020 at 7:47 amOur legacy is the wake we leave on this planet – every thought, every action, every outcome.
Our legacy is informed by love, or informed by fear.
Now, we have a choice.
What will we do?
Mary
July 9, 2020 at 10:16 amIndeed, always the choices.
Lynda
July 9, 2020 at 11:36 amI love raspberries too, I didn’t know you did 🙂 I think we should live and love in the moment as best we can and I see you doing that. Loved by family and friends alike. I have begun to put prayer cards in my daily missal: Ilse’s, Lois Sorensen, Tommy and Colleen Watson, Pam Scott, etc. I pray for them and think about how they touched my life each time I see one of those cards. I think we are each leaving legacies of which aren’t even aware. A very profound and thoughtful piece! Love you, my friend!!!
Mary
July 9, 2020 at 2:29 pmAh Lynda~ Thank you. Merci beaucoup for your thoughts and support. The legacies we are not aware of… Blessings upon you, wondrous friend.
Penny Tennison
July 9, 2020 at 12:09 pmMary: Your posting reminded me of the many times I have thought about people in my life who are gone now. When I was young I did not know enough about Life to ask them questions; to listen to their stories; to appreciate. Now that I am older and somewhat understand their points of view, its too late. Is this the irony of Life?
Penny T
Mary
July 9, 2020 at 2:30 pmHi Penny, good to hear from you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. When I was a young woman, often times I thought I knew more than I actually did. Best to you~
Meg Philp
July 9, 2020 at 8:54 pmHi Mary, I remember this song. I think I heard it in the movie ‘Love Actually.’
Yes these times make us all very aware every day of our mortality. Its lovely to go thru memorabilia and think about family and friends who have gone. I find their handwriting always draws me in. Thanks from Meg
Mary
July 9, 2020 at 9:19 pmThanks for checking in and sharing, Meg. My perspective seems to be ever evolving now. Best to you – keep taking your lovely pictures.
JULIE HUTTON
July 10, 2020 at 2:36 pmThis is ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS Mary. Incredibly beautifully written. So profound!!!! Much love to you Mary!!!
Mary
July 10, 2020 at 4:12 pmJulie! Thank you. I am delighted to hear how it affected you. Much love to you~~
Bettyanne Hasbargen
July 14, 2020 at 12:06 pmMary you are a wonder. The words and stories that come from you are beautiful in their poetry and truth. I feel like I’ve taken a wonderful little journey whenever I read what you’ve written. Much love to you my dearest friend.
Bettyanne
Mary
July 14, 2020 at 3:19 pmBack at you, dear friend~ Thank you for reading. I love to write, and knowing it matters makes it even better, Bettyanne.
Christine Wakefield Nichols
July 15, 2020 at 9:34 amI too, am constantly thinking of what to keep and what to dump – what matters and what will they want to read or look at…our progeny. Letters from my Dad to my mother during the war as they courted one another. Love that song…have I heard it before? The melody is so familiar…maybe from THAT song. Thanks Mary…glad I saw this.
Mary
July 15, 2020 at 10:01 amGood to hear from you, Christine. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. And validate – we have to figure these things out differently as we move through life. best to you~
Mary Ellen Johnson
July 15, 2020 at 10:12 amThank you for this lovely reminder!
Mary Ellen Johnson
July 15, 2020 at 10:12 amThank you for sharing your powerful truth!
Mary
July 15, 2020 at 1:57 pmMy privilege, Mary Ellen. Thank you~
Anjani
July 20, 2020 at 10:01 amSuch a beautiful story. Remember the one we heard from the writer whose mother left her a lifetime of her journals – only to find they were blank?
Mary
July 22, 2020 at 10:54 pmAnjani! How wonderful to hear from you – merci beaucoup. We’ll have to chat about that writer. I think of you often, Kindred.
Soul Sister
July 23, 2020 at 2:46 pmYou will figure out in your own heart, in the grand scheme of things, will this really matter? You don’t need to feel you have to pass on anything except what makes up the essence of Mary. You have already done that. As for the material things, will they be passed down to be read and learned from, or will they gather dust and take up someone else’s space? Life is ever changing, full of decisions.
You, my dear friend, are your own legacy.
Mary
July 24, 2020 at 1:02 pmYou, my dear soul sister, are always there with your wisdom and solid support. Thank you~~
Melanie Ray
September 17, 2020 at 11:34 pmHi Mary, Melanie here, from Vancouver. First off, that is a great photo of the lace cap hygrangea. You’ve composed it so well!
As for the leaves turning, I understood it had to do with the soil temperature changing…. ??
be you well,
Melanie
Mary
September 18, 2020 at 10:35 amHi Melanie, how nice of you to come by and read. A horticulturist told me about the light, which captured my attention. Best to you, stay well~
Melanie Ray
September 18, 2020 at 10:40 amWell, Mary, by the photo that you took that impressed me, you have a good grasp of light!
melanie
Mary
September 19, 2020 at 1:11 pmThank you, Melanie. Ah, that light again. You will totally get this: the hydrangea literally called me. I can only take credit for having my phone handy to take the picture. You know your flowers and Light. p.s. thanks for keeping me in the Vancouver Tellers loop of info. I enjoy you all and miss our adventures. I still remember so many years ago at a theatre your crafting and performing ‘Tristan & Isolde’ !