Loss is Part of Life

Life and Death walk hand in hand.
There are many folktales filled with wisdom and insights about this relationship, and our relationship to it. From Nepal, Greece, Turkey, Canada, Africa, China, Mexico and beyond are these tales of tricking Death, making deals with Death, hiding from Death, befriending Death.

A Mexican tale about an old woman who tricks Death to climb up into a tree, a tree with a magic spell which holds him captive in the tree. Over time, no one dies. The world becomes over-crowded, people suffering do not die and so on. Things start to way back up, so the old woman makes a deal with Death, if he doesn’t take her, she’ll let him down. He agrees, and life goes on. There is a Greek version of this tale as well.

In 1939, the movie, “On Borrowed Time” was made, starring Lionel Barrymore as Gramps. He tricks Death into climbing up an enchanted fruit tree, from which no one can escape. Death is trapped up there. Over time, negative consequences accumulate when no one can die, including Gramps’ suffering grandson. So Death is released.

Another folktale about Luck and Death walking along. They come across a farmer working his field. The farmer recognizes them. Luck says “Let’s see who he trusts the most,” thinking this was a trick on Death, he’d show Death who was the coolest. When they ask the farmer, he looks straight at them and says, “I trust Death. He treats everyone the same.”

Hinterlands outside Prineville, Oregon (c)MDessein

We each have lost people and pets and relationships we love: parents, siblings, a child, a spouse, pups, cats, gerbils, a best friend, the list goes on. For me, I have learned it always contains gratitude. Yes, gratitude for all the warm, rewarding, loving times. Endings tend to be difficult.

Many of you know the tough decisions that often are required: when to end life support measures, when to remove apparatus, to decide when to put down a beloved pet. A lovely friend who recently lost her husband sent me this song as I am preparing to put down my kitty, who is purring on my chest.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I have: Tell Your Heart to Beat Again by Dan Gokey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F77v41jbOYs

Bravery, Gratitude, and a Talking Horse

A dear friend texted me the other day to tell me how much the essays in my book, “When I Was a Rock Star,” encouraged her and thanked me. Being valued is a great way to start my day. The essay she referred to is ‘How Do You Be So Brave?’ which is about kids who have medically complex health issues at Seattle Children’s Hospital and Dr. Stanley Stamm, who founded the pediatric cardiology department at Children’s and pioneered treatments. One of his caveats, “Treat kids like people, not patients.”

These kids have to work to be alive every single day, some in order to take their next breath.
And they do it.

My dear friend has bought six copies of my book! One for herself and five as gifts. Yes, I am very grateful.

This amaryllis is something, right? It usually blooms end of April/early May. Here it is blooming the end of February. This amazing plant is about forty-four years old. Yup! and it was a start from my Aunt Margaret’s plant those many moons ago.

It gets more amazing: it blooms once a year, sometimes three stalks of blossoms, sometimes just one stalk. When my mom died eight years ago on September 2, a single stalk came up with a single blossom on it.
I have no explanation for it other than this is some remarkable, perceptive plant.

Another dear friend gifted me with a remarkable book, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, by Charles Mackesy. “We don’t know about tomorrow,” said the horse, “all we need to know is that we love each other.”
“We have such a long way to go,” sighed the boy. “Yes, but look how far we’ve come,” said the horse.

How far we’ve come. Each of us measures this in different ways, hopefully we do indeed see it.

Another talking horse: Mr. Ed.
Remember this fun television show from the ’60’s? Some of you do!
Our family looked forward to it each week. We got our first television around 1961. Mr. Ed, the talking horse who spoke only to his owner, Wilbur, was played by a gorgeous American Saddlebred, who’s name was Bamboo Harvester, and his voice was done by an actor from westerns, Allen Rocky Lane.
Mr. Ed had a mind of his own:
“My mom didn’t raise her horse to be a jackass.”
“You don’t have to say your horse told you. Tell your friends it was your cat.”
“Quit gabbing and bring me some oats.”

Okay, I’ll quit gabbing~ Thank you for reading.

And my book, “When I Was a Rock Star: Thoughts on Being Present on the World” with the foreword written by fabulous musician, Dmitri Matheny, is available on Amazon in paperback and e-book!

Woo-Hoo! My Book

A journey. A learning curve. An accomplishment. An undertaking. A wow-do-I-feel-great!
It’s up on Amazon… When I Was a Rock Star: Thoughts on Being Present in the World.
Yee gods and little fishes, as my best friend in grade school would say.
And this week of publication has brought excitement, visits from friends as well as a gorgeous bouquet of sunflowers from a neighbor this morning.

Working at seeing the abundances in my life. There are many. The Canadian geese are starting to fly through with their amazing honking as they cruise overheard. My pup is two years old and still speaking to me. My new abode is now really feeling like home. The lupine seeds I planted months back are finally sprouting. The nectarines I got at the market a few days ago are perfectly ripe and delicious. This amazing opportunity to publish. Ah yes, gratitude.
Thank you for reading. Thanks to so many of you for support over the years.
My request: Please tell everyone you know about my book. If inclined, leave a favorable review on Amazon. The more sales and reviews get me more sales and searches, which increase my reader audience. Yay-hoo!

P.S. You can find me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and facebook.

Picasso… melons.

Would I kid you? They are really tasty. To me it tastes like a combination of a cantaloupe and a pear. It’s a new melon, a ‘proprietary’ melon that debuted a year ago. You’re on your own on that one, yet it sure is good.

Reminds me of when I saw a Picasso exhibit at the Seattle Art Museum many years ago. There was so much information on his life as well as seeing his works. When I was in Montreal in 2019, there was an exhibit of Picasso’s work related to the influence African art had on his art. Wow, that was an eye-opener as well.
As you may already know, the Pacific Ocean is small compared to what I don’t know.

This morning, Dean Graziosi was talking about when tough things happen in life, and then thinking ‘I can’t do this,” is when you need to stop and see it as an opportunity. That’s a challenge to be sure. Yet, having come across a few of those in my life, as I’m sure you have as well, giving up is sometimes not an option. It is figuring out how to get through it. Recently, getting my book published has presented me with some challenges, perhaps obstacles depending how I’m feeling at the moment.
These challenges were nothing like a physical injury or being served a divorce decree or an exploding water pipe in my wall or a tragedy in the family, yet I did not know what more to do. I followed instructions, to no resolution.

When I was walking my pupster at the off-leash park recently, I stopped to really look at how spring is abundant and verdant. The vetch is absolutely gorgeous in the acres of knee-high grass. Pup loves to run his huge zoomies through it. When he gallops back to me, there is a happy grin on his face. So much about being present in the moment, present in Nature, simply being. He sure knows how to do it. I’m learning~

My book. I am excited as it is now looking like publication around the end of June. I will certainly be announcing more information and the help I will ask for to promote it.

And a reminder to myself with melons and vetch, to take some time to just be, even when I am anxious and frustrated. Listening to the soundtrack from Michael Mann’s ‘Last of the Mohicans’ has been great. Trevor Jones and Randy Edelman wrote the music.
Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVjwBNsiOv0. I love ‘Elk Hunt, The Kiss, The Courier,’ yet cannot rule any of the tracks out.
When I first heard this twenty years ago, it shifted a few things for me as I was then doing a radio show, meeting musicians, reviewing books and movies, and started learning about Celtic music (here is where I was introduced to Clannad!)

Remember to be patient and kind to yourself. Try a piece of fresh fruit. Dance around to some music, even if it is just in your own head. Stop & look deeply at some flowers.

What’s the Trade-off?

It seems to me there is a trade-off for most every change we make. We hopefully trade up, as in we gain more than we release. A change in jobs, or a different career, a new home, a marriage, having the surgery, a new car, ending a relationship, the bargain lawn mower, getting a puppy, or putting in a garden. Sometimes, as we all know, the trade up does not go quite as we’d hoped.

Maybe even raising our kids is a trade-off. The years of wonder, stress, and joy of raising them the best we could. Then when they are grown, they go off and do their own thing. Sometimes far away from us. The success is that we gave them all we could, they are independent and autonomous people. Yet they are hundreds of miles away, perhaps even on a different continent! When one of my neighbors said he didn’t care that his kids moved away, it meant he would have a smaller house to take care of, I was taken aback. Okay then, different strokes for different folks.

A few evenings ago, there was a golden sunset filling the horizon. I watched a large seagull swoop and loop over my neighborhood for nearly ten minutes. I did not see him flap his wings once. Such elegant lifts and turns and circles. Was he simply doing it for the joy of it? Swoop and sail for the sheer delight? A seagull enjoying being alive? How wonderful to see.

   So, this champagne mango I bought. I justified the high price as it was Mother’s Day and I deserved a treat. The trade-off? Not so much, I have to smile. The skin was tough to cut through, the pit inside was huge (gutli is its actual name) and getting the fruit off of it was a nuisance. Just so you know, being called champagne did not make it a genuine treat.

And now I have foxgloves as tall as I am. Yay-hoo! I can hardly wait until they bloom.

Yes, the book is coming along, I’m excited. Publication planned for June 12. You’ll be hearing about that!
Thank you for reading~

Foxgloves with puppy guardian. Photo by MDessein